Mary, the older sister usually matures faster than her younger sister, Jane. Unlike Mary, Jane physically matures slower. Mary grows faster than her younger sister. She already reached five feet while Jane, her younger sister is still a four-footer. She wears bigger clothes because of her wider body width while her younger sister wears the smaller ones. These are the proofs that an older sister matures faster. So Mary, the older one, matures faster than her younger sister, Jane.
3 comments:
Niki, can you name the sisters. The paragraph sounds impersonal.
Change the conclusion. It sounds tight and similar to the analysis.
Acceptable but can still be improved.
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